"It might be a quarter life crisis, or just a stirring in my soul." -John Mayer

Good ole' Wikipedia (my college professors would cringe at the fact that I am consulting with this site) defines The Quarterlife Crisis (QLF) as "a term applied to the period of life immediately following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from the early twenties to the early thirties." A website called quarterlifecrisis.com (I kid you not...) explains to us, and by us I mean those suffering from this so-called "crisis," that QLF is "a period of anxiety and uncertainty that often accompanies the transition to adulthood."

And it's not just wiki writers and website junkies that have deemed this time period in a twenty-something person's life a Quarterlife Crisis. After a quick spin on google, I found that it was Abby Wilner, co-author of Quarterlife Crisis and Quarterlifer's Companion, who coined the phrase in 1997 after she graduated from college, moved back home, and couldn't figure out what to do with her life.

And then there's John Mayer, musician/singer/song writer, whose lyrics I often find myself relating to, nodding my head in both agreement and steady beat to his genuine words of wisdom, who is unsure of how to explain these feelings of inner turmoil. He suggests that Ms. Wilner may be right or, on the other hand, it may just be a stirring in the old soul.

For me, though, I'm not convinced it is either one or the other but possibly a little of wiki, a little of Wilner, and a little of Mayer.

For me, it is realizing that there are a lot of things I hadn't known about myself before and may or may not like.

For me, it is missing the comfort of college and the non-familial support system(although it felt a whole lot like family) that surrounded my life every minute of every day. It is feeling alone when I remember that all of my closest friends do not live around the corner but rather 400 miles away, and some more.

For me, it is figuring out what I want and what I do not want and all of the things inbetween. My opinions are getting stronger and I am questioning everything.

For me, it is questioning the things my parents have taught me. Religion, especially. For the last two years I have been battling with what I believe and what I have been taught to believe, and have come to the conclusion that the difference between the two is immense.

For me, it is the feeling of being stuck. I have graduated with a degree in English
Literature and Sociology and have somehow found myself glued to an office chair at an investment firm. I wake up every morning and swear that today will be the last day I review and edit memorandums upon memorandums.

For me, it is the endless worrying about money and college loans. I then think about my desk job, and thank a God I'm not even sure exists, for the temporary financial security.

For me, it is having the sense to deem what is right and what is wrong. And while often times I feel intolerably small, I feel as though I am resonating good for myself and others the best that I can.

For me, it is a rollercoaster ride of constant ups and downs, good days and bad. I am insecure and then secure. I am laughing with an old friend, and I am crying with nostalgia. I am drawing new boundary lines; expressing what I deem to be acceptable and unnacceptable.

And through out all of these beliefs that I am trying to validate and actually see , the kind of change that looked promising becomes the enemy. And I go back to my old ways and try clinging to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where I am and move forward.

Because for me, the unknown is rather exciting, and by accepting that change is here, and will continue to follow me out of this quarterlife crisis and onto my midlife crisis and into my old age, I am moving forward. For me, it is gobbling up every ounce of opportunity I can, for fear of missing out on the next best thing. I want to eat it all up, like the way a baby eats their first bowl of real "people food;" cautious at first, unaware of the unknown and as good as this new food looks, reluctant at first to give it a try. But once he finally "digs in" the palet expands and what once looked unfamiliar, becomes the norm.

I'm in that middle stage. The stage where the baby is eyeing up textures and smells unknown to his eyes and ears. I can see the opportunities ahead but I can also look back and see what I have left.

My first bite into the "real world" comes August 17th when I move away from home for a second time to West Palm Beach, Florida to begin my first "real job" for Americorps.

I'll be sure to let you know how it tastes.